Monday, June 30, 2014

One day at a time... PEM strikes again

I saw a meme today that read:  "I try to take things one day at a time... but lately several days have ganged up on me at once."

Oh, how I can relate to that. It's called Post-Exertional Malaise, or PEM for short. It's a delayed response of the body to exertion of any kind, be it physical, mental, or emotional. Sometimes the delay is as little as a few hours, but sometimes it can take days to set in. 

I hate waking up feeling sick, that feverish feeling where the world is off kilter and neither the eyes nor the brain are willing to focus upon anything other than not falling off the bed. Like most people with chronic autoimmune problems it's not unusual to wake up feeling worse than I felt upon going to sleep. This more often happens when I have had a good and active day before. Sometimes I can go for as long as three days of feeling reasonably good, being able to operate comfortably function as I putter throughout the day. Then I get nailed for it. Payback is always a bitch.

Sometimes it happens suddenly, as if my energy plug got pulled.
Sometimes it comes on slowly, building up un-noticed until I land on my butt unable to get back up again.
Sometimes I just wake up feeling flushed and flu-ish, fogged and confused, weak and wonky.

Sometimes it feels like a floodgate of pain has been opened and the mess dumped upon my head all at once.

                                            (not my artwork, author unknown to me)

And the worst of it is that a person can never know what it was that was the "over doing it" line so as to be able to avoid doing it again.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Bad Timing Is Everything.

It is frustrating how all it takes is one annoying thing to ruin an entire day. 

Not that it was all that good of a day to begin with, but it wasn't really a bad day. 
You can feel like you are holding your own and then something happens to cause a startle of some sort. 

A bump in the road. But that bump feels more like a pothole.
It kinda knocks the breathe out of you, causes confusion. 

An annoyance that feels like a crisis. The brain locks up. The body goes into panic mode. It becomes a crisis in the moment. 

Brain Overload!  TILT! TILT! TILT! 

The next thing you know you are on your butt with those cartoon stars circling around your head. 
The rest of the day you feel like a punch drunk boxer. 
Headache and exhaustion, jumpy on the edge of panic. Body hurt all under. Stomach in knots. Nerves shredded. 

All because something happened today, on a marginal day, instead of happening on a good day, when it would have been only an annoyance.